loose change
Sara Under the D-Train tracks, Brooklyn, 2009, © Jane Tam
Two of my Aunts in front of an Arch, 1970s, © Tam Family
Somehow the summer seemed to have come and gone and August is already upon us.¬† It’s been a year since I graduated and a year since I’ve worked at my dayjob. I was talking to a friend recently and said it seems as if time speeds up right after you leave school. Reality hits you like a brick. Age is nothing but a number but for some reason, as each year goes by I see and feel how time affects those around me. My youngest cousin is starting college in a month, the health of my parents are on the decline, my once close friends are drifting away as their lives take off, and here I am struggling with goals, projects, life, and happiness.
You are experiencing the same thing that I experienced after college. You are suddenly cast out into the world after college; there isn’t a ‘plan’ for your future. There’s also no such thing as grades, so sometimes its difficult to determine how to measure your success.
There was anxiety at first, when I realized that my future was going to be shaped by my own actions. It was a test of how I balanced new responsibilities with activities that elicited personal satisfaction. You mentioned happiness in your post – happiness is one of those conceptual feelings that morphs over time.
I’m not sure that anyone is forever happy. I view it as an emotion that one can experience often, but it’s usually for short periods of time.
I take a cheap trip to a foreign country once a year. Those trips allow me to get outside of my daily routine and allow me to reflect on what’s going on. I always return with a renewed sense of self.
A great article! I like the second retro photo!